Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
