i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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