There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
