Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Pooping to opera.
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