ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
