We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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