I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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