rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
