I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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