Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
