drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
