Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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