We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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