No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Found the puke drawer
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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