i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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