No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
