My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
