You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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