I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize