eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
