dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
