My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
need another drink. this is the easiest way
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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