I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
