Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
