dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
