You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
