Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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