Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize