So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Enjoy the penises
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
