Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
