just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
