guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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