That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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