I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
