ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize