i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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