one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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