Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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