great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
