We won't sleep together?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
