btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
