8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
