Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
