i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
