how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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