Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
