No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
