I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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