Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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