Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
