That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
