if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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