went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
