You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
