remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
