dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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