Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I smell stomach acid.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
