I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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