Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
