all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
