I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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